The Polygamy Project
by Kathryn Claire O'Connor
Summary: Bones/NCIS/Criminal Minds cross-over. Title says it all. Temperence Brennan thought it up, Spencer Reid became interested, and Abby Sciuto and Penelope Garcia volunteered everyone but the kitchen sink repairman. (Well, not quite, but Gibbs sure thinks so!) Too many pairings to mention, and a few OCs. Rated for thematic elements and some language.
1. Chapter 1

**Mild spoilers for Bones season six episode "The Sins in the Sisterhood."**

* * *

"Hey, Booth?"

Special Agent Seeley Booth glanced across the console at his wife, Dr. Temperance Brennan as they headed into work, prompting her to continue with a "Yeah?"

"Do you remember that case we worked with the Samuel family? Back when you were still dating Hannah Burley?"

"The unfaithful polygamist with three wives?"

"Yes."

"What about him?"

"I've been thinking about seeing if I can't get things together to do an anthropological study about polygamy in the United States."

Bones seemed nervous making this statement, and that made Seeley nervous as well as he asked apprehensively, "What kind of project?"

"A sort of… roll play?"

"What do you mean 'role play?'" Seeley asked, apprehension growing as he kept his eyes flickering back and forth between his wife and the road.

She took a deep breath, delving into a deeper explanation. "Getting a group of people together – preferably ones that have been in relationships with one another or are currently in relationships with one another – and separating them into temporary family groups for a set period of time to see what sort of an impact it has on them and the people surrounding them."

Seeley barely bothered with keeping the skepticism out of his tone as he clarified, "So, you want to get a bunch of people to be fake polygamists for the sake of science?"

"Only for a little while," Bones hurried to assure him. "I was thinking maybe a mandatory two weeks and then longer if anyone should like to continue on doing the project. Each subject would be asked to keep a diary of their thoughts, experiences, and emotions as they go through the project so that we can better gather research."

"Of course," Seeley drawled. "Not that it isn't an interesting idea, Bones – because in a weird way it is – but where exactly are you going to find people willing to take two weeks or more out of their lives and do this thing, let alone the funding for it? And call them journals, not diaries. Assuming that there will be guys doing this project, no guy wants to be told to keep a diary – a journal maybe, but definitely not a diary."

"Okay," Bones appeased him. "Journals. And I've actually already talked to a couple of people whom I thought might be interested in assisting us. They've agreed to help, if you're willing to participate in the project. I've also already procured funding from enough sponsors to get the project up and running."

"So, basically, what you're telling me is that this project is going to happen, it's just a matter of… wait a minute here, Bones!" he realized. "You want me – as in you and I – to play polygamists for two weeks?!"

"Or more," she added.

"Bones!" he groaned loudly.

"Whether or not you and I participate isn't a deal breaker as to whether or not the project happens at all, it's just something that I would find interesting to participate in. And you might learn something too, you know."

"Yeah," Seeley deadpanned. "That Ed Samuels was an idiot."

"This really is something that I want us to participate in, Booth," she cajoled. "I've already agreed to be on the team of people who participate in the actual researching of the results; just imagine how much more we could get out of this if we actually took part in the day to day living of polygamy as well!"

"I don't intend to get anything out of this," Seeley said tersely. "You're the only one of us who would learn anything if we did it."

"Then do it for me?" she asked, cocking her head at him and actually batting her eyelashes.

Freaking _women_!

"That depends entirely upon who else is taking part in this project," he declared, now looking exclusively at the road for fear that what he saw in her eyes would be the end of his already waning resistance.

"I've talked to people at the Jeffersonian, and they're willing to do it."

"Who?!"

"Cam, Angela and Dr. Hodgins, Dr. Sweets; I even got Daisy Wick to agree to help us."

Seeley raised a hand to his forehead, again groaning, "Oh, Bones! And who else have you talked into this?"

"I talked to another 'intellectual' friend of mine here in D.C., Dr. Reid-"

"Who?"

'"The twenty-something profiler from the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Anyway, he told me that he and his co-workers were on board, one of said coworkers even going so far as to contact some possible plural 'wives' for the project. This same coworker – a technical analyst – contacted someone from NCIS, and the woman from NCIS got her team on board with it, as well as some civilians that she thought would be interested."

"Meaning that the only person you haven't talked to about this yet is me?" he deduced.

Bones shrugged which meant that he was right.

"And who exactly do you plan on having my fake extra wife be _if_ I agree to this thing?"

"Wives."

"Excuse me?" Seeley looked at her again, eyes widening in horror. "You mean that I'm going to be dealing with _more_ than even _two _women?"

Bones shrugged again, seeming considerably casual considering the conversation that they were having as she hurriedly informed him, "Four women, but you already know every one of them."

"Who are they?"

"Are you going to do the project?" she countered.

"Tell me who they are first," he demanded.

"If you aren't going to do it, then there's no reason for me to give you that information. First you decide whether or not you're going to commit to taking part in this project."

"When does this project start?" he asked, losing his momentum for the argument.

She answered in a slightly small voice, "A week."

When Seeley took a deep breath and opened his mouth, he was again ready to vent his aggravation at this other new development, but one glance at his wife's already repentant expression stopped him. He released the gust of air, saying, "You know, I really hate your eyes."

Bones looked at him in confusion. "Why? I thought that you always said that you love my eyes. And what does that have to do with the polygamy project?"

"One look at those dumb blue eyes and I give you whatever you want."

She nearly clapped her hands as a wide grin spread across her face and she asked, "Does that mean that you'll do it?"

"I'll do it," he groused. "But only two weeks – not a minute more."

"Thank you!" she said giddily. "I'm sure you won't regret it."

"That," Seeley said, swinging into the parking lot of the Jeffersonian. "Remains to be seen."

* * *

**My muse has officially started travelling into decidedly dark and - in this case - weird places recently. This will have a whole lot of plot lines going on and canon (especially canon timelines) may well be chopped to bits in some areas, so consider yourself warned. This chapter was only a prologue of sorts, the story does get better, I promise. Thanks for reading! Reviews are my new best friend, if you should feel so inclined.:) **


	2. Chapter 2

A week later, Seeley took a deep, steeling breath as he turned his car down the newly constructed private dirt lane that the more than generous funders of Bones' project had seen to the making of for the project's specific purpose. While he hadn't been allowed down the road before, he had been made well aware of the setup of the place. Essentially, at the end of this road was a small compound of six duplex houses. Apparently, making sure that the project took place in the desired site had meant that there hadn't been quite enough money to put into building twelve separate houses, and this had led to the choice being made to build duplexes instead.

This fact, of course, wasn't the one that was occupying his mind. Instead his every thought was taken up by his nervous wondering over what might be around this last bend in the road. Despite all of the begging and pleading from all of the men to all parties knowledgeable, on the subject, no one had been told who their "wives" were to be for the duration of the project. All that Seeley knew was that he was taking up temporary residence in 11 Federal Lane, Alexandria, Virginia, with four women, and, apparently, _three children _to boot.

It was an understatement to say that he was a nervous wreck as he parked in front of the duplex house. Scanning the cars already parked out front of the house, he searched for any that he recognized. There was Bones' car, of course, and one that he didn't recognize. When he realized who the owners of the other two vehicles were, he froze. Rebecca Stinton and Camille Saroyan!

"Oh, h***, no!" he breathed, climbing slowly out of his car.

Yanking his briefcase out of the passenger side seat, he warily approached the house and opened the front door, already knowing that all four of "his wives" would be inside.

"Who's home?!" he called out into the empty foyer.

"Dad!" out of the middle of nowhere, Parker ran towards him at full speed.

"Hey, buddy!" Booth said cheerfully, happy to give his son a side hug. He hadn't been sure whether or not Parker was going to be one of the kids showing up for this project or not, but he was here after all, so at least Seeley could look forward to two weeks with his kid.

Bones came around the corner after her stepson, smiling, with Christine on her hip. Out of the corner of his eye, Seeley saw that Cam was hiding out behind the corner that led into the kitchen and dining room – apparently she had no more appreciation for this project then Seeley did himself. Rebecca walked into the room behind Bones, and behind her was none other than Hannah Burley.

This was – at his most open-minded – at least two women to many for Seeley Booth. No, nope, wait – make that three too many. Camille's adopted daughter, Michelle – apparently she was the third kid that he had living under his temporary roof – slunk into his room in all of her sixteen year old and disgruntled glory.

Returning the teenage girl's patronizing glare with a small wave, Seeley stepped forward and quickly kissed his wife – the real one, that was.

Bones smiled at him, as he greeted her with a "hi, honey," but then he noticed that she kept glancing at him and then towards Rebecca and Hannah. It took him a minute, but then he realized what she wanted him to do.

No. Oh, no! H***, no; that was not going to happen!

"You know," Rebecca piped up. "You are a polygamist now…"

"Only temporarily," Seeley reminded automatically.

"But still," Bones said, apparently ready to side with Parker's mother. "That means that 'temporarily' you need to treat us all as your equal marital partners – treating all four of us like you normally treat me."

Seeley looked at his wife as if she had lost it.

"In the name of science," she tacked on as if that might be a helpful remark to him.

"Yeah," Rebecca repeated. "For science."

She stepped up to him and grabbed his lapels, kissing him possessively.

"Hey!" he balked, jerking away from the uncharacteristic action.

What in the world was going on in her head? Scratch that, actually; he probably didn't want to know.

Bones raised her eyebrows, and for a moment he couldn't tell whether it was at him or Rebecca. Then he realized the ridiculous truth. That look was actually directed towards him. Bones thought that he had "broken the character," or something like that, of a polygamist. Seeley took a deep breath. Okay then; apparently he was going to have to do a little better then that if he wanted to please the wife that he was actually going to be going home with when these two weeks of purgatory were up.

Wanting to avoid a repeat of what Rebecca had just done, Seeley moved on his own now, going to Hannah and giving her a peck on the cheek.

"Long time, no see… sweetheart."

Hannah smiled, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of the oxymoron. "We'll have to catch up sometime, dear."

Seeley nodded, snorting at the joke of sorts, but immeasurable glad to see that there was no hard – or even truly romantic – feelings between the two of them any longer. Maybe Hannah would actually try to make this project easier on him.

Dare he hope, he wondered, gripping the wall and propelling himself casually around the corner so that he could give Cam her kiss on the cheek as well – _weird thought!_ – although he doubted that she realized that he knew where she was. She turned at just the wrong time, though, and the kiss landed squarely on her lips. They both gasped, and she stumbled back from him, a panicked look in her eye – a look that he knew had to be mirrored in his own expression.

Blood rushed up to pound in his ears as what had just happened registered with him. Although he readily acknowledged that he shouldn't have kissed her – that's why he hadn't intended to – he knew just as certainly that the swift contact shouldn't have reminded him of old times back when they had been a couple. But he had… and it did… and that was most definitely a problem!

* * *

**Alright, now off we go to someone else's POV now for a bit, after all we have to keep tabs on the whole community, right? You may have noticed that I tweaked Michelle's age - that's one of the things that I meant about bending canon. Sorry that this chapter took me so long to post; I was working on a different story. Reviews make my day, if you feel so inclined! Thanks!:)**


	3. Chapter 3

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not a happy man right now. As a matter of fact, he might just have to kill Abby over this one – after all, she had to be the one who had gathered them all here. He had never really been tempted to do anything of the sort to her, but this… this was pushing it to the maximum of his patience.

When he had pulled up to the duplex where he would be living – 31 Federal Lane – he had instantly recognized the car of Samantha Ryan, his current girlfriend, and that had been more than fine with him. _Then_ had seen Diane Sterling's car. He didn't recognize the other three vehicles, but something told him that he wasn't going to like the fact that whoever owned those vehicles was going to be hanging around.

He opened the door to the duplex silently and snuck inside, sorting the female voices that he heard through his mind's ear until he had attached a name to each voice. Samantha and Diane were easy to pick out since he knew who he was listening for in their cases. The third voice to be identified was that of the retired lieutenant colonel, Hollis Mann. He paused, wondering what exactly Abby had said to her to get the redhead to leave Hawaii and come back here even for a couple of weeks. And then he recognized the remaining two voices one directly after the other. Heaven help him, he just might torture Abby before he killed her. Those other two women were Stephanie Flynn and Heather Gibbs, his third and second ex-wives respectively. While he and Stephanie were perfectly capable of being congenial to one another if they so desired – at least nowadays – Heather was another story entirely.

Both of them had kept their claws on during the vast majority of the duration of their three-year marriage – some of the most miserable years of his life. Why she was the one who had chosen to keep her married name had always remained a mystery to him.

Suddenly Jethro heard footsteps coming towards the vestibule, and before he could duck back out of the house, Parker Ryan, Samantha's seventeen year old son, caught sight of him. Jethro desperately motioned for him to keep silent, and Parker grinned like he understood full well before he followed Gibbs back outside.

Despite the fact that they couldn't have possibly been heard by the bickering five still inside, Parker clicked the door shut behind himself and Jethro before turning and asking the older man, "It's alright that I go somewhere, right?"

"Where to?" Jethro asked.

Parker pointed over his shoulder at the duplex, saying, "Anywhere but in there."

Jethro allowed a smile to ease the corners of his lips barely upward as he asked, "Do you have any homework?"

"Just a report that's due next week."

"Then why don't you make your mom happy; go to the library and do some research or something, okay? It should be quiet there."

Parker looked back at the house, trying to decide whether he wanted to deal with homework or bickering women before he said "okay" and loped towards his truck. Jethro smiled despite himself as he watched him go, then turned in a slow circle as he surveyed the rest of the community. Six houses in a semi circle, but it was the one to his right that he noticed. It looked like most of his team was there, and he couldn't help but wonder why. Considering the fact that he, like Parker, wanted to be anywhere but inside his own temporary residence, Jethro walked the short distance to the other house and knocked on the door of 41 Federal Lane.

"Hi, Gibbs," Ellie Bishop said, coming to answer the door.

"Bishop," he replied as his newest agent stepped aside and he went into the house.

She informed him, "The rest of the gang's all here," as she led him into the sitting room. "Abby came over all excited and dragging McGee and Delilah behind her. Jimmy must have seen the gathering, because he and Breena stopped in too – and they brought their new baby! I don't think that they've even been to their own place yet."

"Who else is actually living here?" Jethro asked, leaning back against a wall when he realized that all of the chairs in the room where currently occupied.

"In this part of the duplex?" He nodded. "Tony and I, and somebody that I don't know, but Abby really wants to see her, whoever she is."

Across the room, Abby grinned at them upon hearing her name.

"Not that Abby's saying who she is, of course, although I have my suspicions." DiNozzo joined in the conversation, coming to stand beside Bishop, even going so far as to wrap an arm around her waist.

Jethro looked at him askance, before suddenly realizing that there was something different about Bishop's appearance. Something small, but significant. It took him a minute before it registered, and then, "Bishop, where's your wedding ring?"

DiNozzo's grip on her tightened comfortingly as Bishop swallowed and looked at her shoes before answering softly, "Michael was my husband."

"The guy that she worked with in The National Security Agency," DiNozzo clarified grimly.

"I'm privy to personnel files," Jethro reminded them, "but what I meant was why take the ring off _now _– while we're doing this project thing?"

She shrugged. "Why not? If I'm going to pretend to be married to another man, I don't want to still be wearing the wedding ring that Michael gave me." Noting the look that Jethro gave her and DiNozzo, she read his mind when she said, "Relax, Gibbs; it's not like I'm going to go and fall in love again anytime soon, and certainly not with Tony. As a matter of fact, if you must know, that's why I kept on acting like my husband was alive – because I had heard so many rumors about how Tony acted around his female coworkers, and I didn't want to deal with that."

"Smart girl; see that you keep it that way," Jethro replied.

Just then, Abby's giddy scream split the air as she cried out, "She's here!" while looking out the window.

DiNozzo craned his neck to look out the window from where he stood, and Jethro saw the moment that his agent realized who was getting out of the car outside. A split-second later, the younger man was already out of the house and holding the woman in a hug so tight that it rivaled any that Abby might give.

"Who is that?" Bishop asked, squinting as she went over to stand by the window beside Abby.

"That," Abby said, looking extremely proud with herself as she paused for dramatic effect, "Is Ziva David."

* * *

**Now I went and widowed Ellie, but that seemed to me to be the easiest way to get her single again, so it is what it is. What do you all think of the idea of her being married to Michael from NSA (my plot bunny has another idea in that direction is why I ask)? Gibbs and Dr. Ryan, never broke up, BTW. Oh, and I gave Jimmy and Breena a baby! Reviews make my day, if you feel so inclined!:) **


	4. Chapter 4

**Minor crossing-over with Big Love here, just because I can!**

* * *

Crossing his arms over the steering wheel of his parked car, Aaron Hotchner put his head in the crook of his elbow, questioning his very sanity. He recognized two of the vehicles in front of his duplex, which meant that he now knew who two of his three "wives" were. Granted, his girlfriend, Beth Clemmons, had practically been a giving, but he hadn't seen coming the fact that Alex Blake was one of the other two – after all, the poor woman had just gotten through a painful divorce from her husband, James, when Hotch knew full well that she still loved him. Unfortunately her job with the Behavioral Analysis Unit had gotten in between them.

And then he saw that there was a woman stepping out of their temporary house – 12 Federal Street – and he was halfway horrified at who he recognized her to be. No, not her! She had left his team – left _him_ – and the last time it had been her choice! When she came to him after JJ's wedding, he had begged her to stay, had reminded her that he loved her, reminded her that they had something special, and told her that she was the only one that he could imagine spending the rest of his life with. She had retaliated by reminding him that for too long he had allowed her to be only "the other woman," leaving her to quietly play second fiddle to Beth, and then she had walked out, leaving for London not long after.

"D***!" Aaron muttered, hitting the steering wheel.

"What did you say, Daddy?" Jack asked from the back seat.

Aaron jumped, having forgotten that his eight year old son was still in the vehicle with him before turned around to face him, assuring, "Nothing."

He forced himself to get out of the vehicle, and when he did, Beth came out of the house and started towards him.

"Hey," her smile was wide as she reached him and pulled him in for a lingering kiss.

"I'm glad to see that you could make it all the way here from New York City," he said, opening the trunk and pulling out his and Jack's suitcases.

"I wouldn't miss it!" she said cheerfully, but Aaron saw the tell-tale tightness around her mouth, the way that she had glanced away from him for a split second.

He was a profiler, but that didn't mean that no one else could read people, and Beth wasn't an idiot. She suspected what had gone on with Emily, and she didn't trust him to be here with the former profiler without someone there to babysit him. The thought annoyed him, but he mentally trampled it, determined to be happy at having his girlfriend's presence here.

"Hi, Beth," Jack said, getting out of the vehicle.

"Hi, Jack," Beth replied, reaching out for him to give her a hug.

However, the boy had other ideas. He took his bag from his father and angled past her, heading towards the house. Then he saw Emily across the yard and dropped his bag, running to embrace the unsuspecting woman while happily crying out her name. Aaron almost groaned. When he dared to look at Beth, he saw that her expression was pinched into one of intense displeasure.

"Don't read too much into it," Aaron told her, carefully laying a hand on Beth's arm. "They were really close when she worked with the team, and he hasn't seen her since the going-away party that we threw for her the day before she left."

Beth nodded sharply, still as displeased as anything as she turned and stalked back towards the house, leaving him with no choice but to grab his suitcase and follow her.

Emily and Jack followed him inside and Hotch set his bag upright in the dining room and kitchen area when he realized that he had every member of his temporary family in the same area since Blake was in the kitchen.

"Dr. Brennan came by earlier," Blake said by way of greeting as she saw that they had all stopped and stood clustered around the kitchen bar. The agent pointed to a paper on the counter, adding, "She brought that by."

"What is it?" Aaron asked, picking up the piece of printer paper and scanning the contents.

Beth informed him, sounding like she wanted to come across as much more pleased then what she was, "Instructions on how to set up and run a polygamous family."

Aaron's eyebrows rose as he caught some of the words on the paper. "Equal status" "sleeping schedules" "first, second, third, wife."

"What's the point of this?" Aaron asked, looking at the trio of woman around him for an answer.

"She's telling you not to play favorites, is what I gathered," Emily piped up.

Beth instantly objected, "But it also says right in there to decide who is first, second, and third wife!"

"…Because," Blake spoke up, trying to mediate the undercurrent between Beth and Emily. "That's the way that it would be in a real polygamous relationship. Ideally, the husband loves each of his wives equally, but one way or the other one wife was married to him first, then second, third, and so on. That's what that paper means in talking about numbering the women. We have to set up a back story at least to that extent, but I don't think that it's meaning to play favorites. Now whether or not that happens will be another story, I have a feeling."

Beth smiled smugly, but Aaron chose to ignore both her expression and Blake's last statement as he looked back down at the paper in his hand. Right now, he still favored his agent best out of all three of the women with him, and if he had to number them, he was tempted to make her number one just so that she could be his right-hand woman in this, but he didn't dare rock the boat anymore than what Emily's presence already had.

"Wait a second," Aaron spoke through the bickering that the three women had already gotten into, grateful to see that Jack had lost interest and taken his stuff up to his room. "What does this paper mean where it says here 'the family living with Aaron Hotchner has been chosen to live in the first duplex alongside Dr. Brennan because of _one of the family member's past experiences with a polygamous lifestyle'_?" Aaron glanced at Emily, asking, "Was that another one of your undercover assignments?"

Emily shook her head, looking as confused as he and Beth did. Slowly it dawned on Aaron. Her personnel file had said that James had been Blake's second marriage – that her first husband had been a Utah senator named Bill Hendrickson. He had known the first time he had read the name that he should know it – he had been involved in some sort of a scandal or something – but only now did Aaron realize who the man was, and what that meant for his agent.

He turned slowly to Alex, watching her eyes flash with desperation when she realized what he had just figured out. Before his death, Bill Hendrickson had been a polygamist, and Alex – how could he not have recognized her as Barb Hendrickson before now – had been his first wife out of three.

Aaron stifled a groan as he looked around at these three women, realizing what he had gotten himself into. An angry girlfriend, an ex-mistress, and an ex-polygamist – and for the next two weeks they were all his.

* * *

**Not sure why I took the direction that I did with Hotch/Emily, let alone Alex's backstory, but I did anyway so I guess that we all get to see where that goes, including me! Longest chapter yet! Reviews make my day, if you feel so inclined! Thanks!:)**


	5. Chapter 5

"I missed something, didn't I?" Ellie asked, going over to stand at the window between Abby and Timothy McGee as they all three watched Tony and Ziva practically make out in the middle of the yard.

Tim smirked as Abby nodded her head vigorously. By the grin on the Goth's face, you would think she had won the lottery. If you wanted Tim's opinion, though, it was Tony who had won the jackpot. He had Ziva back, and if Tony and Ellie had been going to start something of a romantic relationship, it was still early enough that he could back out of it and be with Ziva, which, judging by the show they were getting in yard, was what he would want to do.

Tim sighed softly, his eyes fluttering a little at the disquieting scene before them as he considered his own predicament. There were a lot of things in his life since starting NCIS that he shouldn't have done. While he would never regret dating Abby, he knew full well – now that he could look back on it – that he never should have broken up with her. Just like Tony had found with Ziva, Tim had realized too late that he was in love with Abby, and he had been ever since. Tim shouldn't have struck up a relationship with Delilah, because now he was in the awkward and rare position of being completely in love with two women at once, both Abby and Delilah. And something told him that at least Delilah knew it. After all, she had already told him that she was the one who had talked Abby into becoming his "other wife" during these next two weeks, and both women had been very kind about the situation.

He wasn't sure whether that was going to make this project easier or harder on him, but one way or the other, he was ready to just roll with it and enjoy having them both for the next two weeks. It was as illogical and strange a situation as he had ever encountered, and already he knew that it was going to be a bittersweet time for him, but that was okay and he was ready for it – or so he thought.

As it was, he was ready to just be content with what he could get when it came to the Goth that he could no longer call his own.

As if she had been reading his thoughts, Delilah came over and wound an arm around his arm, ending with their fingers laced together, and leaned her head over on his shoulder, asking, "Are you ready to be my husband and Abby's?"

"None of us are actually married," he reminded her flatly.

Abby claimed his other hand, leaning her head on his other shoulder and saying, "Well, we could be."

"What?" Tim asked, startled.

"We can pretend," Abby clarified innocently. "We're all supposed to act married, you know, like Delilah and I are both married to you and you're married to both of us."

"You mean pretend like that?" Tim deadpanned, pointing out the window towards Tony and Ziva.

"Exactly!" Delilah said cheerfully.

Tim had expected Delilah to be reasonably wary of this project, of their working with Abby, of _his_ working with Abby, but what he had expected was not what he had gotten. But what he did get just then worried him even more. Delilah leaned over and kissed him, and then and there, with his girlfriend watching – looking completely unconcerned – Abby did the same.

He closed his eyes, wondering how anything could ever feel so bittersweet.

* * *

Later that day, back at their own temporary abode – 52 Federal Lane – Abby slipped into Delilah's bedroom while McGee was unpacking elsewhere in the house and closed the door behind her.

"Do you think that he's going to get what we're trying to tell him?" Abby asked, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her new "sister wife."

"I don't know… probably not within the two weeks, and certainly not today."

"But, come on, you were right there when I kissed him." Abby closed her eyes, almost shivering as she repeated, "I kissed him." Her eyes flew open to see Delilah sporting a soft smile as she asked, "Do you know how long it's been since I've kissed him?"

Delilah shrugged, saying casually, "I'm almost afraid to ask."

Abby huffed. "We both know Timmy better than that. He would never go behind your back with someone, not even me – especially not me! He would have Gibbs to contend with too if he did that."

"It's true," Delilah admitted with a smile. "But then, what makes us think that this will work, or that Tim will be okay with it? I mean… you and I have had a long time to discuss the idea of polygamy, and we have been for awhile, even before this project randomly came up. We got used to the idea over time, but we're going to ask him to become okay with it within two weeks?"

"It doesn't have to be just two weeks," Abby pointed out. "We were all told that we could continue the project for as long as we wanted to. Maybe we don't even have to talk Tim into polygamy exactly; we just have to get him to be okay with the idea of staying here until he comes to the conclusion that he wants the three of us to live together even outside of here. It shouldn't be too hard; it already seems like fate is on our side."

"Fate?" Delilah repeated.

"Yeah! How else do you explain this project popping up at the same time that we were getting ready to discuss the idea of polygamy with McGee?"

* * *

On the other side of the bedroom door, the man in question was in a state of shock as he stood there, silently listening in on the two women's conversation. They had actually been considering polygamy as an alternate lifestyle for the three of them even _outside_ of this project? He was with Abby on this one. What were the odds of that?

And an even better question: what did he think of the idea?

* * *

**I swear that this story has started writing itself! Reviews are my new best friends, if you feel like introducing me to a new one! Thanks!:)**


	6. Chapter 6

David Rossi should have expected this, he really should have, after all, it was Penelope Garcia of all people who had hunted down the two women that she wanted to be his "wives," so it wasn't like he couldn't have seen this coming from a mile away, but it still didn't make the situation any easier, regardless of how friendly the terms that he was on with these two might be.

Hearing two chatty voices coming from the living room – those of his two living ex-wives, Maureen and Laura Rossi – Dave tried to be silent as he lugged his suitcase up the staircase towards the bedroom, and he would've succeeded had he not been given away by the one breathing life in this house that he had thought he could count on. His friend, his comrade, his hunting dog – and Mudgie came right into 32 Federal Lane and darted straight for Laura, the little traitor of a mutt.

By the time that Dave made his way into the living room doorway, the dog was standing by the couch, soaking in the attention that the two women seated on the couch were giving him. Laura, who had always seemed to like his dog more than she did him, didn't look up, but his second wife, Maureen, did, and her black eyes lit with humor when she spotted him.

"Why, hello again, David Rossi."

"Hi, Mori," he drawled the nickname that he had always used for her slipping out without his registering it.

Maureen looked at Mudgie and Laura and then back up at him, teasing, "Your dog is treating your wives better then you are."

Dave raised his eyebrows, asking, "Oh?"

"Well, just look at all those kisses that he's giving Laura!"

His eyebrows went higher, and then he rolled his eyes, calling, "Come on, Mudgie."

Mudgie glanced at him and then flopped resolutely down at Laura's feet. He wasn't going to budge. David sighed, and turned to once again start making his way towards the bedrooms. Maureen laughed and he heard her approach behind him.

"Looks like it's gonna be us against them," the curvy African-American commented.

Dave snorted before agreeing, "Looks like it."

He grabbed hold of his suitcase, and, acting on impulse, gave Maureen a chaste kiss before hurrying up the stairs to unpack. She heard her light laughter as he went, and couldn't help but smile to himself as it hit him that perhaps he had missed that laugh.

* * *

"I have every reason to be nervous, right?" Jack Hodgins asked, looking over at his wife, Angela, as they made their way up the walkway towards 61 Federal Lane, their temporary duplex house.

Angela shifted Michael on her hip, deciding, "Yeah, I guess so. I am too, actually, but just remember that we're doing this for Brennan. She already told you that this 'second wife' isn't someone we actually know, right?"

Jack nodded, reaching for the door handle and holding the door open for his wife and son. "That would be why I am nervous. All I know is that she's a member of the Apostolic United Brethren, whatever that means."

"That means that I am a part of a version of the Church of Latter Day Saints that is very modern in lifestyle, but still believes in polygamy," a young woman came around the corner as she spoke and met them in the entryway. "Hi," she extended her hand first to Jack and then to Angela, smiling widely. "My name is Andrea Holmes; you must be Jack, Angela, and Michael. I've heard a lot about you."

"That's funny," Jack said, "because nobody has told us anything about you."

Angela glared at her husband, saying warmly, "What he means is that it's nice to meet you."

Despite her tone, as her gaze covertly swept over the woman who couldn't have been any older then thirty-one, Angela felt like there was something that she should be noticing about Andrea Holmes, something that should strike her as off. Then it hit her, and Angela swore under her breath. Angela knew for a fact that Sweets, Brennan, and a man named Dr. Reid had been the ones to decide what random women got let in on the project, but what she didn't know – and what she very much wanted to know – was why the woman in front of her was the same "type" as her! What had that trio of supposed geniuses been thinking to let an admittedly pretty, younger-than-her, at least half-Asian woman loose in the house to pretend to be married to the man who was Angela's _real _husband!?

Angela dug the toe of her shoe into the linoleum floor, hoping to hide her frown as she decided that she was going to have to pay her sweetie a visit over this one. Because no matter how sweet Andrea was coming across as, and no matter how nicely Angela knew she would make herself treat her new sister wife, the woman was still far too young and far too pretty. And that did not set well.

* * *

"You're sure that she's nice?" Will asked, looking nervously over at JJ as he parked in front of 51 Federal Lane. "I just don't want someone who isn't so nice to be hanging around Henry all the time for two straight weeks. I'm worried for him."

"For Henry?" JJ repeated with raised eyebrows. "Will, honey, it doesn't take a profiler to see the lie in that statement."

"Well, neither of us have ever even met her; what if she's a religious fanatic or something? Didn't Reid say that she was a Mormon?"

"And you're a Southern Baptist and my life doesn't leave me with time for church. So what? I trust Spence not to throw us into a house with a lunatic, Will, and you should too."

Will took a deep breath and nodded, admitting, "I know, and I do."

"Okay," JJ drawled, getting out of the car and making sure that Henry had no problems unbuckling himself. "Then let's go meet the second Mrs. William LaMontagne, Jr."

JJ was smiling as she said it, and though she knew that he wanted to frown, Will went along with her teasing mood, asking in jest as he popped open the trunk, "What are you going to do if she's a good-looking blonde?"

"The better question is," JJ asked, closing the car door behind Henry and looking over her shoulder at him, still smiling, "What are you going to do?"

"No worries," a feminine voice spoke from behind Will as she came up to the car.

JJ turned to the woman, quickly scanning her physical features before their eyes met. Probably around thirty with an hour-glass figure, pretty face, and wild, kinky red hair that JJ thought contrasted with what she would peg as a likable, put-together aura.

"I'm Will," JJ's detective husband offered, "and this is my wife, JJ, and son, Henry."

"Nice to meet you all," the redhead said, offering her hand to Will and JJ. "I'm Sydney Corbin."

* * *

**And this chapter took care of introducing the greater half of this storyline's OCs. I think that I will be making this into a series instead of trying to cram all of these storylines into one story. Once I've written something for each family unit, that'll be the end of this story and then I'll be writing individual stories about each family. Reviews make my day full of sunshine! Thanks!:)**


	7. Chapter 7

Why Dr. Brennan hadn't let him have a say in whom the second woman was that he worked with, Lance Sweets had no idea. The fact that she had kept from him the identity of the one woman that she had told him he had already met just aggravated him. He had helped pick out and get together the women for the other men participating in the project, so why on earth had she insisted on disallowing him from having anything to do with his own selections? It wasn't fair, he refused to see any sort of logic in it, and he was pretty sure that he had seen her discussing it with Angela and Dr. Saroyan once, which just served to downright terrify him.

He took a deep breath and opened the door to 21 Federal Lane, calling out as he entered, "Hello?"

"Hi," a young woman whose voice he didn't recognize called out, "I'm in the dining room."

Lance obediently made his way into that sun-lit room, smiling nervously at the woman he saw sitting at the dining room table with an open magazine in front of her.

"I'm Lillian Josephs," the woman offered.

He replied cordially, "Dr. Lance Sweets."

He was well aware of what Dr. Brennan wanted to see happening during this project, but at the moment there wasn't a chance in h*** that he was going to show any sort of affection, let alone affection that was spousal in nature, towards this woman that he had just met. Maybe the person that he was already supposed to know, depending on who it was, but not to Miss Lillian Josephs.

"Everybody calls me Lily; you can if you want to."

"Oh," Lance brought himself back to the present, answering, "Alright… Lily."

A pause.

Lance shifted uncomfortably and then Lily made a stab at conversation, saying, "Your, uh, girlfriend is upstairs."

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. "My girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend."

"Oh." Now Lily looked confused as well as she explained, "Well, she just seemed really excited to see you again 'after so long', and she seemed really familiar with you, so I just thought…"

"What did she look like?" Lance asked, starting to put two and two together.

It would be a very "Angela" thing to do to pick two wives for him that both had "flower" names, but certainly not… Certainly Dr. Brennan or at least Dr. Saroyan wouldn't have allowed that…

"Auburn-ish hair, really big, dark eyes? Tiny, talkative, energetic?"

Lance sighed, muttering, "Daisy…"

Two seconds later, someone launched herself at him from behind in a tight hug around his midsection, and a sweet, familiar voice spoke excitedly near his ear, saying, "Hi, Lancelot."

Lance couldn't help flinching, but he resigned himself to the facts, and, after a swift moment of thought came upon a solution. From the research that he had done into polygamy and its workings, he had noticed that some men were prone to having a favorite wife. Something told him that if he could just get to know Lily a little, then he would more than likely be able to play off his avoidance of Daisy as favoritism towards the freckled blonde who still sat at the dining room table. Yeah, that would work; he would make it work.

Whatever outlook Angela, or Dr. Brennan, or Dr. Saroyan had been after, they weren't going to get it. He was smarter than that. He could not let himself fall for Daisy Wick all over again.

* * *

"Here we are," Breena Palmer said tiredly, relief threading through her every syllable as Jimmy opened the front door to 62 Federal Lane and she had gone in ahead of him.

Once Breena had entered the house and started up the stairs to where they had already been told a crib waited for their newly-adopted daughter, Summer, Jimmy went back out to the car and lugged their suitcases inside, huffing as he jerked them over the bump that was the threshold.

He felt bad for keeping Breena and Summer at DiNozzo's place for so long. As a general rule, Summer had been a wonderful baby, but she didn't like to be handed around a lot, and unfortunately that was exactly what had happened among his colleagues – at least whenever Abby could be persuaded to give her up, that was. So eventually his poor baby girl had gotten exhausted and tired of all of the attention and started screaming for some peace. At the base of the staircase, Jimmy stopped and listened, realizing that Summer's wails had already quieted down to the point that he could no longer hear them echoing throughout the house. While the paternal instincts were kicking in a little slower where he was concerned, Breena was in full mother mode, and she was quickly learning what to do. If the decreased noise level was any indication, she might have just set a record for the least amount of time taken to quiet the baby down, he mused as he carried their bags up the stairs.

Turning the corner at the stairs into the doorway of his and Breena's bedroom, Jimmy froze where he stood. Breena sat silently in the rocking chair that had been installed in the room, staring in awe up at her daughter, or, more accurately, the woman who held their daughter. With her back turned to him, the short woman with dishwater brown hair hanging below her shoulder blades didn't notice him; she was far too busy gazing kindly at the child that Breena had obviously relinquished into her arms. Expression calm and eyes gentle, whoever this woman was, it was pretty obvious that she was comfortable with kids as she swayed back and forth to the timing of the lullaby that she was singing to Summer under her breath.

Catching sight of him across the room, Breena smiled at him and put a finger to her lips while simultaneously waving him further into the room. He bit his lip nervously, but did as he was asked and crossed the room to stand beside his wife. In his distraction with Summer, he had almost forgotten that there would be another woman in this house that he needed to meet.

"Jimmy," Breena said softly, gesturing at the woman who was watching the two of them through her eyelashes. "This is Anna Sanders. Can we take her home with us after this project is over?"

Jimmy blinked, making sure that Breena was joking – that it was just her exhaustion talking – before he chuckled. So long as Breena and Anna could get along, this project might not be a problem. As it was, it looked like having Anna Sanders around might even make it easier then it was without her.

* * *

**Okay, I'll claim having written this chapter; it didn't just write itself, thus the lack of total weirdness, I guess. Reviews are my new best friends, if you feel like introducing me to a new one! Thanks!:)**


	8. Chapter 8

Terror. That was all that Derek Morgan could feel as he entered 42 Federal Lane and saw _all _of his wives gathered in the living room of their new temporary home. Sheer, absolute terror. And horror. Lots of horror, actually. Player habits or none, he wasn't sure that this was what he had signed up for.

Savannah. He had seen Savannah's being here coming from a mile away, after all she was his real-life, full-time girlfriend, not just something that he was going to be dealing with for two weeks and then relinquishing again. Then again, if there was really going to be _four _women in this house for the next two weeks, and every one of them calling themselves his wife, then he might just abandon her here and jump ship.

Penelope Garcia. Okay, he would admit that he had kind of figured she would show up here too. Considering the flirty nature of the relationship between them contrasted with her relationship with the other male members of his team, it just made more sense to him that she call herself his for a couple of weeks, after all, she had practically been doing in already for years.

Jordan Todd. She was a surprise, he would admit, especially since he had thought that he was only going to get two women, and had figured on them being Savannah and Baby Girl. Although, Penelope tended to keep in touch with people, or at least keep tabs on them, and since Jordan still worked for the Counter Terrorism section of the BAU, it wouldn't have been hard to get to her and tell her about the project. And even if she hadn't been interested… well, pretty much everyone knew that Penelope's powers of persuasion could become legendary when she really wanted something. It probably really wasn't Jordan's fault that she was here; Penelope had probably dragged her here if nothing else. After all, he knew that as much as Penelope _didn't mind_ Savannah, she genuinely _liked_ Jordan and had wanted them to get together when Jordan had worked with the team; chances were that she was still harboring that hope.

Tamara Barnes. Honestly, he didn't particularly know why she was here, nor did he actually care, so long as she didn't want to try and start something up between them again. After meeting, they had quickly discovered that it would be best if they kept nothing more between them besides friendship, and they both preferred it that way.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that, unless things became more dramatic then they needed to be, chances were that he could survive these next two weeks.

"Here," Savannah stood up from her chair to give him a kiss by way of greeting and handed him a sheet of paper. "Your friend, Dr. Reid, brought it by earlier."

Derek sat down in the chair that Savannah had vacated, grinning internally when she casually draped herself across his lap as he scanned the piece of paper.

"Equal wives, huh?" he asked, eyeing first Savannah – he noted a forcibly unworried expression with a frown hidden behind her eyes and in the almost unnoticeable tightness in her expression – and then the other three women in turn.

Jordan openly bit her lip, Tamara downright scowled, and Penelope was trying not to look worried. Derek didn't like to be a pessimist, but those reactions worried him. He suddenly got the feeling that there was no way in h*** that he was getting out of here without some unnecessary dramatics before the two weeks were up.

As it was, he sighed and lifted Savannah onto her feet, saying, "Alright then."

He stepped towards his Baby Girl, trying not to show his hesitancy as he leaned over her from where she sat on one side of the couch and kissed her on the top of the head. He had done it many times before, but this time, under this context, made it feel different… weird.

"Hi, Baby Girl."

She giggled, "Welcome home, Hot Stuff."

Jordan blushed deeply as he moved to where she sat on the opposite side of the couch and kissed her on her scalp, the same way he had Penelope. "Hi, to you too, Jordan."

"Derek," she mumbled.

He went back across the living room to stand in front of the recliner that Tamara was sitting rigidly in and kissed her the same way before she could protest.

"Nice to see you again, Tamara," he offered, going to sit on the couch between Jordan and Penelope.

"You too," she answered in a clipped monotone.

On second thought, maybe he should have just gone back to sharing one of the recliners with Savannah. He had Penelope and Jordan – the two women with normal expressions on their faces – sitting beside him where he couldn't see them easily, but from where he sat, he had a plain view of the two unpleasant looking expressions worn by Savannah and Tamara. The latter looked thoroughly disgruntled, and the former just looked straight-up shocked at what he had just done. Well, what had she expected? Reid's paper said to treat all four of them equally, so he had tried to the best that his conscience would allow; it wasn't like he had actually kissed any of the other three on the mouth like he had her. It was just the nature of the project, and for the next couple of weeks, she was just going to have to get used to being okay with it.

Glancing around at the four of them once again, Derek almost put his head in his hands and groaned aloud. No… this polygamy project promised no drama _at all_…

Oh well, he was a big boy; he could handle it, right? Right.

Savannah's expression morphed into a sharp glare that was aimed directly at him, and Derek felt his shoulders slump a little as he realized how much trouble he was apparently already in with her.

_Wrong. _He got the feeling that he was in way over his head here.

* * *

Anthony DiNozzo didn't know that he had ever felt quite this way. Originally, the idea of being able to explore the idea of a relationship had been enough to excite him when he had shown up here and seen that the new kid on the NCIS block had been assigned as one of his wives, but this… There was no adrenaline rush like unto the one that he had gotten when he had seen Ziva get out of that car, no way to explain how he had felt in that moment when he had once again seen the woman that he knew himself to love.

He had thought that maybe he had gotten over her, that maybe, true to his reputation, Ellie would be a good woman with whom to start over again, but then he had seen Ziva again and he had realized that there was no way that he was ever going to truly, full get over her. And that was even before he had kissed her right there in the yard.

Question was, did she really still feel the same way about him... not that she obviously didn't still have feelings for him, but were they as strong as his for her? And if so, how in the world was he going to convince her to stick around this time and be with him for good? And where in the h*** did this leave his feelings for Ellie Bishop?

* * *

**Okay, I'll claim having written this chapter; it didn't just write itself, thus the lack of total weirdness, I guess. Reviews are my new best friends, if you feel like introducing me to a new one! Thanks!:)**


	9. Chapter 9

From a scientific standpoint, Spencer Reid knew that this was going to be a very interesting project. He was honored that Dr. Brennan had asked him to research it along with her, Dr. Sweets, and possibly even Alex Blake, but, really, the idea of stepping through the doorway of 22 Federal Lane was currently scaring him a ridiculous amount, especially considering what he had been through and seen in his life. Even so – in the name of science – Spencer took a deep breath and stepped into the house, forcing himself to confront the women that he knew were waiting inside.

The problem was, though, that Dr. Brennan had let Alex pick out how many and which women exactly would be waiting for, and he hadn't been told what to expect. As it was, Alex alone wouldn't worry him, except for the fact that he knew without a doubt that he had seen her discussing his potential wives with Garcia, probably dredging up some poor woman from his past who had previously wished never to see him again but currently needed the monetary reimbursement that participation in the project provided.

He turned out of the entryway, following the sounds of feminine chatter around the corner and into the dining room and kitchen area. And he froze with the shock of what – no, _who _– he was seeing. Only half of these women had even _crossed his mind! _And Alex wouldn't know about any of them!

So help him, Penelope Garcia was going to _die_, and don't think that he didn't know how to make it look like a robbery gone wrong or even a suicide, thanks to all of his work in BAU.

Of all people, the bartender from Atlanta, Austin Lawrence, was standing at the bar, expertly fixing some martinis. Good; even he was apparently going to need them if he was supposed to start treating her like his wife. Frack. He guessed that they were still friends, but still… He hadn't even seen her since 2008! They'd never even gone on a second date! How had Penelope talked her into this?!

Wait… forget 2008… was that… oh, d***… _How?_ That was _Lila Archer_ reaching over the head of another blonde to get a container of something out of the microwave. Maybe he wouldn't kill Garcia after all.

When the blonde whose back had been to him turned to get out of Lila's way, temporarily abandoning whatever she had been stirring on the stove and giving him a glimpse of her profile, a wide grin split his face and Spencer decided that Penelope deserved flowers. Ashley Seaver was here… without Rossi to look over her shoulder and play papa bear.

And then… then he heard a voice from the laundry room – another voice from his past – calling out, "Are you sure that there's cheese in this ice chest in here?"

Feeling a little faint, Spencer leaned over against the wall, determined not to be noticed yet, but knowing that he was about to fall over if he didn't support himself. Forget the d*** flowers, Penelope needed a whole medal – probably a purple heart, considering the war that she must've had to go through to get the final woman here.

"I thought I saw some frozen mozzarella when I went to get the ice for the drinks," Austin called out over her shoulder.

Apparently Spencer had caught the four of them in the middle of making dinner. Swallowing his much-multiplied nerves, Spencer gathered up his courage and said, just to see who would respond and how, "Honey, I'm home."

Ashley and Lila both whirled towards him, Austin almost dropped the vodka that she held, and Elle Greenaway – oh, g**, it actually was her, not just his imagination – poked her head out from the laundry room. Ashley was the first to move towards him, weaving around the other women and whatever they were cooking to come meet him where he still stood propped up by the wall. He stood up straight and responded in kind to her when his former teammate wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him like they had done it a million times when in fact it was only the first time. Okay, second… Fine, _third_, if it mattered.

"I thought you told me that you worked with his team in the Bureau?" Elle addressed Ashley, coming into the room as she wiped her hands on her pants.

"I did; I work in Crimes Against Children now," Ashley explained, stepping away from Spencer.

Elle got within a yard of them and crossed her arms casually across her chest, a small smirk playing about the corners of her lips as she asked, "So, are you two actually dating?"

"No," Spencer and Ashley both answered instantly.

"Well then, that's some good acting going on there," Elle was smirking without reservation now as she said, "Let's see if I can do that."

So she did. Spencer barely refrained from shuddering as the kiss ended, his mind flooding with memories of the one time that they had been intimate – in her hotel room when he had come to talk to her after the Fisher King ordeal.

"That's some good acting," Lila said with a smile, joining the trio. "But I'm the actress here; I bet I can do better than both of you."

And Spencer would admit that she did do "better" then Ashley or Elle, but only because the two agents cared about the fact that there were other people around watching them. Lila obviously didn't, because kissing her in the middle of the kitchen was just like kissing her when they were alone in her pool in Los Angeles had been back in the summer spring of 2006 – full of lust and passion, but no… love. No gentle caring was conveyed through the display of affection… like with Ashley, and even, in her own way, Elle.

Not that he was complaining; he enjoyed every one of these women in a unique way and for both their own and his own unique reasons, even Austin, who obviously had no intention of kissing him, or even leaving her station at the bar. But that was okay by him; the five of them had two weeks to get to know each other, and by the looks of things, they were going to be quite the walking experiment in polygamy.

Lila burrowed into his shoulder on his left side, so he obliged her, draping an arm around her shoulders as pulled Ashley to his other side with his right arm.

Looking around at the scene that the five of them made, something told him that this community was going to be leading some very interesting lives in this polygamy project.

* * *

**Sorry if this feels a little OOC to anyone but me, but I guess I'll claim having written this chapter too. Reviews are my new best friends, if you feel like introducing me to a new one! This is the end of this story; the next one I'll be writing in this series will be listed under only a single category, ie an NCIS fic since I'm going to do McGee's part of the series. The next thing that I'm posting, though, is the next part of my Victorious "Breaking" series, a three-shot entitled "Protect Me." Be sure to check out my poll concerning which family's story I ought to write next in this series! Thanks!:)**


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